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Now, I’m not saying these are conscious reasons why dating a man quite a bit older—there have been several moments when I’ve thought that going out with someone closer to my age would be much simpler.I even tried it when my boyfriend and I took a short break, and I found it was painstakingly difficult and more complicated than my experience dating an older guy. The texting games (How long should I wait to text him back? It’s exhausting), the fear of commitment that plagues most twentysomethings, and the simple fact that most guys my age aren’t as emotionally mature as I am.He was more exciting to be with than any of the 20-something guys I knew.

That means there’s a strategic advantage for women to snag an older gent—he’s had more time to accumulate resources and stability than his younger counterparts, which could make him a more viable partner and father.

I wasn’t sure how it would go, yet there he was, charming the pants off them all by himself, busting out his A-material small talk with some friends in a corner. Instead I shoved a cracker in my mouth and mulled over her question as I pretended it was hard to chew. Yes, my new man was older than me, much older than me.

After politely playing 20 questions with Sue about my new boyfriend, I knew this was the one she was getting at.

Anyone who’s been in a serious long-term relationship knows the journey isn’t without certain challenges, and when you’re dating an older man—we’re talking a decade or more—things can get even trickier.

I know this firsthand, as I’m 25 years old, and I’ve been dating an older guy nearly 15 years my senior for almost four years.




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